Hi! I’m Darla, an experienced PK-12 music educator, college professor, and former Berklee College of Music Dean looking to connect with teachers, parents/caregivers, and others seeking to advance creative music making for today’s students—and their teachers. In Darla Hanley’s Music Room you will find teaching strategies, advice and teaching tips, playlists, and more.
Patience Please
© 2026 Darla S. Hanley
Good things come to those who wait, right? I think so…
Today’s post is all about having patience…or a lack thereof. You know, the kind of reminder and reflection perfect for the end of summer or the start of the school year (lol).
Patience is all about waiting, enduring, and grace. It’s a dance between time and us. In my view we need patience for things that are both in- and out-of- our hands— sometimes all at the same time (lol). We need to be patient with ourselves, with others, within a situation, and for what the future may bring. This is tough as we balance what’s in the moment with long-term dreams, short-term goals, and beautiful wishes. Here’s one:
Have you ever heard a young child asking (well, really demanding, lol) for something? The other day I heard a child who was safely inside with his family behind a closed door asking in a loud voice (ha!) to “open!” “open!” “open!” it. He was ready to go outside. No, he was ready to go outside. That child did not want to be patient as his family prepared to go. He knew what he wanted and wanted it badly. It was fascinating to hear his keen focus, determination, and feel his energy. He was fully behind his request with body strength, involvement, and will—kind of everything but patience. And his parents demonstrated patience as they allowed their child to speak his mind while they navigated an exit plan. They could have intervened and tried to squash his expression…but they didn’t!
As we age and mature, I think we still feel that same enthusiasm and passion for wanting something to happen or be (like that young child wanting to go outside to play), except we tend to keep things inside rather than (literally) kick and scream. There are social rules, etc. (lol) so we often find ways to channel our impatience. Fascinating.
Patience is personal. It’s something we navigate often without strategically thinking about it. I feel like it is needed 1M times a week (lol), and we engage within these needs sometimes consciously sometimes not. Also fascinating, right?
When I think about needing patience instant gratification comes to mind. Instant gratification is that feeling of accomplishment that happens when we check items off the “to do” list or move up a level at the gym. It’s the expectation that our food order will be delivered right to our front door—while still hot—and it comes. It’s also the immediate outcome we seek regarding all the XYs and Zs. I know you get it.
In today’s fast-paced environment we seem to be surrounded by a constant desire for immediate rewards. Yes, our world is filled with lots of things that happen in a flash, but are these things as good as something that’s slow cooked? I mean, think about that birthday cake made from scratch by someone who can b-a-k-e (lol) compared to a microwave brownie; a wool sweater knitted by hand instead of any whatever-it’s-made-of fast fashion; or that favorite pair of boots that took years to break in and are oh, so comfortable! Each of these examples require time, commitment to complete a task, and in my view, a recognition (and celebration) of the outcome.
Don’t misunderstand, everyone likes instant gratification. It’s thrilling to do something right away and hit all the marks, but that is the outlier, right? Most things in life require time, practice, and…well, practice.
So here’s the segue to music education:
As musicians, we spend more time practicing than performing. We need to have patience knowing that our skills and abilities will grow and develop with time. We need to endure the music we make with our voices or instruments that does NOT match the music in our head (lol) and have patience as we strive to replicate music as played by professional artists. The time we put in to practice and hone our art pays off—and we need to be diligent—and patient.
This seems pretty obvious, but as music teachers we need to be patient with our students—and not get frustrated along their journeys. Students may not progress at the speed we want for them, they may not be prepared for their lesson (insert eye roll), they may not gel as an ensemble until December, they may not XY or Z they way we hoped, you get the idea. And when we factor in large groups of individual students all moving at their own artistic paces…wowza. Music teachers need the patience of a superhero (lol)!
As music teachers, we also need to be patient with school administrators who are juggling mundane and complex issues every day (I can say that as a former college dean, lol). These professionals set essential long- and short-term goals for their entire school and its community that sometimes get delayed due to urgent and/or unanticipated matters that arise. They need time to secure resources, consider options and requests, and make informed decisions. Additionally, they need grace when they don’t respond to us as quickly as we would like.
Finally, we need to be patient with each other. Teachers can sometimes be critical of each other (what????) and feel overworked, overwhelmed, and tired. All of this is real. In this lane, it’s how we engage, connect, and support each other that matters. I think it’s sometimes way easier to lose our cool than to have patience.
We know the classic example for elementary music teachers: That classroom teacher colleague who is late bringing her students to our music room OR late in coming to get them! This always feels like disrespect for what we teach and/or our time…but that may not be what’s happening. We need to have patience, and a professional conversation to see what’s going on. There really are 2 sides to most stories.
So let’s get practical! How can we consider patience within our daily work in the music classroom, and why is it important? According to AI (and my mother lol), 5 guiding principles of patience seem to emerge:
Endurance and Perseverance
Acceptance of Time
Surrendering Control
Grace with Others
Inner Peace
Endurance and perseverance require us to stay in the game even during challenging times. We really can make it to the end of the race—or school year (lol). We really can guide that student to play a centered pitch on her horn. We really can manage that class of middle school students who are too cool for school, etc. Enduring and persevering is about bringing our best teacher-self to the classroom, every day, and keeping students front and center within the work—no matter what’s happening.
Time marches on, true. It also heals all wounds. Here we need to remember, however, that growth, healing, and big goals may happen slowly. We need to lean into the pace (the acceptance of time) and celebrate every small win along the way.
Surrendering control can be SO difficult, but sometimes things really are out of our hands. If there is nothing we can do (at our level, in the present moment, etc.), there is nothing we can do. We have to wait and let go of the need to force outcomes or rush timelines. The only thing we can ever do is our best.
I know I talked about this already, but having grace with others is important! We always need to show kindness and forgiveness to students, colleagues, administrators, parents, etc.—especially when they make a mistake, do something in a manner we wouldn’t choose, or move slower than we would like them to.
And on this list, inner peace is everything. This is about remaining calm and finding the positive during challenging, frustrating or uncertain times. It’s also about being comfortable in the current (metaphorical) shoes we are wearing.
Keep Your Eyes (and Theirs) on the Prize
Setting students up to be successful (and grow) in any classroom—including the music room—requires teachers to be patient as they:
Process instructions and guidelines;
Attempt to complete a task;
Complete the task; and
Navigate their developing command of playing an instrument or singing.
We need to patiently wait for students to understand, internalize, and apply information. This is teaching. Our patience is important because it contributes to the educational environment and supports student learning.
We also need to help students learn how to be patient with themselves as artists. This is important for every young musician—to patiently establish trust within the educational/artistic process and feel welcome in it.
In this lane, that instant gratification idea mentioned above sometimes comes into play—but potentially negatively. When students are unable to produce musical sounds on instruments immediately they can lose their patience with music. This is often a reason a student quits playing. They are impatient with themselves as players and opt out.
Final Thoughts
Patience is part of music teaching and learning. It’s embedded in our work and in the goals we have for students. That means:
Students need to know that playing and singing are musical skills that develop over time—and can continue developing over an entire lifetime! How cool is that?
Students need to feel supported, and cut themselves a break if they are not 100% successful playing or singing the example or song. They need to try, and try, and try again (lol).
And importantly, ALL students need to know they are artists every day who will only improve musically with practice, dedication—and patience.
Call to Action
Get the “big paper” and a marker and make 3 columns: 1.) Me, 2.) My Students, and 3.) My Administration/School Community. Make lists of things that honestly test your patience in each column. 24 hours later, read your lists and select 1 from each column on which to focus, reflect, and improve if you can. These types of lists are often eye-opening.
Thanks for indulging me with this post… Sometimes I like to pause and replay essential pedagogical ideas as reminders. Wait for it (lol)…Here are a few tracks for you. Enjoy!
🎵 The Lumineers “Patience” (2016) Link to Track on Spotify
🎵 isaintjames “Someday Soon” (2024) Link to Track on Spotify
🎵 Earth, Wind & Fire “Wait” (1979) Link to Track on Spotify
🎵 Allen & Bright, Lance Allen “Waiting on the World to Change” (2020) Link to Track on Spotify
What a brilliant essay for the beginning of a school year!